i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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