I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
