A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
