i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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