he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
