oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
