Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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