I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
