she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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