he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize