We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
