My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
