arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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