Do you still have your period?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
