This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
