Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
