one two three fourrrrnication!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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