We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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