Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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