weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
