Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
