I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
