Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
