Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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