Do vagina's smell?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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