I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize