i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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