is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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