Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
