I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize