omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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