so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
These tits shall not be calmed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
