Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Someone shit on the floor
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize