And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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