i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
