Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize