It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
