We won't sleep together?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
