How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
do herpes really smell.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
