You work out of a Hotel?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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