Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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