weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
