Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
