apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
