Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
