He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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