he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
