Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
