Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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