The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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