Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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