Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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