Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
