I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
