I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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