as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
