It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
