god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sorry about my life...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
