In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
