i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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