I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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