My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
