On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sorry about my life...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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