So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
