This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You did what with his pubic hair?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
