Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
