I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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