well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
